Girl on Girl: How Pop Culture Turned a Generation of Women Against Themselves- Book Review (and Some Thoughts)

As a millennial, born in 1981, I've lived a pretty interesting life so far. When I look back at the evolution of society, the rate of change is remarkable—especially regarding the dominance of the internet. We hope that, as a people, we are moving toward more enlightened times. Yet, the past few years have shown that for every step forward, we also take steps back, particularly regarding female bodily autonomy.

Sophie Gilbert's Girl on Girl proves an insightful companion to works like Sarah Ditum’s Toxic, exploring this regression through a compelling mixture of history, culture, and feminist theory. Gilbert persuasively argues that pornography has become the defining cultural product of our times, fundamentally altering how genders perceive one another. She analyzes the profound effect of the commodification of the female body on women's self-worth, offering a crucial cultural context for the rise in self-harm and depression following the ubiquity of camera-enabled smartphones.

Gilbert, being only three years my junior, shares a familiar set of cultural touchstones. She opens the book by recalling her formative years at age 16, highlighting the era’s pop-cultural fixation on women: Britney Spears on the infamous Rolling Stone cover, the exploitative fantasy in American Beauty, and the projection of Gail Porter's image onto the Houses of Parliament for FHM. These recollections offer a raw look at the pervasive, casual sexism of the 90s and 00s. For those who did not live through it, the sheer unapologetic cruelty directed at famous women by the media is difficult to fully grasp.

Recently, I watched a few films I recalled fondly from that era, and the casual misogyny was striking. It wasn't just a case of grandfathering in the accepted "norms" of the time; it was cruelty heaped upon a baseline toxic "lad culture" that pervaded the "Cool Britannia" zeitgeist. While there seemed to be tides of change in the mid-00s, with significant progress in legal and educational arenas, the bad old times seem to be back. Post-Trump, the rise of the Manosphere, the rolling back of Roe v. Wade, and the easy access to extreme adult material online suggest the misogyny of the past has returned in a new, mutated form.

Over nine chapters, Gilbert looks at this regression of women's rights. There are a few key themes that overarch her work, most notably a "culture of contempt."

Gilbert argues that the turn of the millennium saw a shift from the rebellious punk and Riot Grrrl figures of the 80s and early 90s to more girlish, vulnerable archetypes (like the Spice Girls and Britney Spears), who were easily manipulated and mocked. This culture of contempt was driven by figures like Perez Hilton, who built careers on publicly shaming women, and the celebrity press—such as Heat magazine with its infamous 'Circle of Shame'—which attacked innocent fashion 'faux pas' and the bodies of women.

A key element underlying this shift was the rise of easily accessible internet pornography. As porn became more ubiquitous and extreme, popular culture strained to catch up, conditioning a generation of women to view themselves as both commodities and subjects worthy of derision. This era saw the rise of "Porno Chic" fashion and predation, a dynamic that eventually reached a breaking point with the #MeToo movement nearly two decades later.

Compounding all of this was the ideology of post-feminism, which falsely posited that the fight for gender equality was largely over. Women were instead steered toward finding "liberation" through consumption and self-commodification. This toxic attitude permeated all corners of pop culture—from films like American Pie to reality TV—fostering a pervasive sense that women should be objects of male desire and, crucially, objects of one another's contempt (epitomized by the media-fueled Britney vs. Christina rivalry).

Gilbert's work forces readers to confront an uncomfortable truth: this sustained devaluation of women in popular culture has likely contributed to broader societal and political outcomes. Culture shapes us and our choices, for better or worse.

Overall, Girl on Girl serves as a powerful piece of cultural criticism and a call to action. It reminds us that we must demand a popular culture that does not demean women or spread casual misogyny. We are currently stuck in a specific "Reality Tunnel"—a mental model we mistake for reality itself—where the devaluation of women is normalized. To break free from this narrative, and the "Circumambient Narratives" that define our societal values, we must actively aspire for the betterment of all women and envision a world superior to the one that has dominated since the turn of the millennium.